A Star Trek Voyager Story
By Enginerd
"Oben?!?" Jerran said, surprised to see her and Seven at her door. "How may I serve?"
"Captain Ba'Re was attacked," Janeway said, noting the startled look on Jerran's face.
"Yatook apparently faked the effects of separation and Captain Ba'Re wanted to ease his discomfort," Kathryn explained. "And as thanks for her concern, he stabbed her in Sickbay," Janeway said tersely, clearly angered by Yatook's actions.
"She is alive," Seven added, causing the Taak to exhale with relief.
Jerran steeled herself and forced a neutral expression, a reaction greatly annoying Janeway, who was sick of secrets.
"But I guess it doesn't matter to you," Kathryn said, surprising Seven, who glanced at her curiously, certain she had seen the look of concern on Jerran's face. "Captain Ba'Re was weak after all," Janeway challenged. "The weakest of all Captains, isn't that right? Unworthy of her position."
Jerran looked up sharply. "I never said she was unworthy of her position! She is only of lower standing. She is a worthy Captain," Jerran said, then stopped uneasily, averting her gaze attempting to reign in her anger, though the twitching muscle in her jaw remained as evidence.
"But you don't think she's worthy enough to bond to. You said she's weak. Why would you say that?" Captain Janeway pushed, startled when she felt a wave of uncertainty roll off the young woman. The sensation would have been fascinating if it wasn't so unsettling, she considered, wondering why this side-effect of the bond was surfacing all of a sudden.
Seven saw the disturbed look on Kathryn's face. She was going to ask what was wrong but Kathryn shook her head slightly, causing a displeased sigh.
"I . . . I am your Taak," Jerran said, clearly struggling with her emotions. "I provided what you requested - information on the Granarians in your brig," she said.
"You failed to tell me everything . . . again," Janeway said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "Didn't you?"
Jerran looked up at her Oben uncertainly. Kathryn didn't need to see her face clouded with worry, she could feel it.
"Tell me the truth. Why you don't want to bond with Captain Ba'Re, Jerran?" Janeway said firmly, feeling another wave of agitation and worry roll off of the young woman.
"If my Oben wishes me to bond with another, there are more suitable candidates. . . ."
"NO!" Janeway roared, fed up with the evasive answers, startling both Seven and Jerran. "You will serve me with your answer, Jerran. You will tell me why YOU don't want to bond with her."
Jerran immediately fell to her knees in a sign of deference for her Oben, unable to look her in the eye.
"She . . . she is not the best choice," Jerran managed to grind out with difficulty, unable to stop the tears from well up, though she continued to fight that losing battle.
The strong emotions now radiating from Jerran caught Kathryn flat-footed. Such sorrow, Janeway thought, feeling the anguish as if it were her own.
"Do you think she is unsuitable because her Ke' Cha was removed?" Seven finally asked Jerran, concluding the Captain's line of questioning was ineffective. Jerran was not compelled, even by her own Oben, to reveal Ba'Re's condition.
Jerran sucked in a startled breath.
"The Doctor discovered most of her Ke' Cha had been removed when he repaired the stab wound," Seven explained.
Jerran remained uncomfortably silent, uncertain of what to say.
"Was that connected to Yatook's attack?" Seven asked, growing frustrated with Jerran's stubborn silence. Seven looked towards the quiet Captain and noticed tears in her eyes. "Captain?" She asked with concern, once again receiving a small, dismissive shake of Kathryn's head. Seven remained silent, but was not pleased.
Jerran looked up and was surprised by her Oben's tears. Her Oben knew her feelings, the Taak realized with a wince.
"Jerran, please answer," Kathryn asked tiredly. "I can't help either of you if I don't know what is going on."
Jerran looked at her Oben an uneasy moment, knowing she had to explain that which she vowed never to reveal in order to help Ba'Re. "No one knows she is . . . was a del Taak."
"You did," Kathryn said, wiping the tears from her cheek.
"I told no one. She would lose her life if they knew."
"Why?"
"She is not . . . normal," Jerran said with anguish.
"Wouldn't Taghra have found that secret valuable?" Seven asked.
"No," Jerran said firmly, still staring at the floor. "She would have rather died than let Taghra hold anything over her. She has honor."
"But if it meant her death for anyone to know, how did you find out?" Kathryn pressed, getting a cringe from the reluctant Taak.
"Please, Jerran. We need to understand," Seven urged.
"When a del Taak is born, they are taken from the rest of the population and raised separately. Karryn and I lived in one of the compounds together. We were . . . friends," Jerran offered hesitantly, causing Seven and Kathryn to glance at each other. "One day, she grew ill. Her life energy, the very essence of her, started to drain away. There was nothing I could do. It was her Ke' Cha. There was nothing anyone could do, except take her away to "die in honor". . . and alone. They didn't want to risk the rest of us getting sick. I will never forget the day they took her away," she declared in a sad whisper. "We were not even allowed to say good bye."
Seven could see the emotional toil that Kathryn was struggling with, which mirrored Jerran's. Somehow, their bond had strengthened, she considered with growing concern.
"I didn't see her again, until many years later, well after I had bonded with Taghra. In the Grand Hall, in front of the entire Council, I saw her. She was alive. She was so beautiful, so vibrant. Just like I remembered her. But she was a Captain," Jerran said with amazement. "I couldn't believe my eyes. Thankfully, Taghra was too amused with the "naive upstart" who dared to debate the Council to notice how startled I was seeing her."
"I had to know how she survived," Jerran continued, clearly moved by this Captain Ba'Re, Seven noted, glancing at her own Captain a moment.
"I used all my resources but I was unsuccessful. I had not been very careful in my investigation. I was so sloppy, she confronted me," Jerran admitted with mild embarrassment. "But instead of complaining or demanding I stop, she once again surprised me. She said if I had questions to just ask her. I did. She answered my questions. Every one of them."
"She trusted you with her life," Seven said.
Jerran nodded gravely, then looked at Kathryn, suddenly concerned she would think less of Captain Ba'Re. "It wasn't her fault, Oben. She had no control. A misguided doctor illegally removed her Ke' Cha," Jerran explained.
"Misguided? He saved her life, didn't he?" Kathryn asked incredulously, surprising Jerran.
"Because of his act, she is something she was never born to be. She is not normal. No Granarian had the right to alter destiny. It is not the way," Jerran explained, as if obvious.
"Then why did you protected the very life you didn't think should be saved," Kathryn countered, gaining a frustrated look from the Taak, whose eyes dropped.
Kathryn sighed, concluding debating with Jerran right now wasn't going to be productive. "Well, she is what she is now. And she's recovering in Sickbay. A visit from you might help speed up her recovery," Kathryn suggested.
"She would not want to see me, Oben," Jerran objected uneasily.
"She was pleased to see you in the Cargo Bay, Jerran. I am sure she would appreciate a visit from a friend," Kathryn said.
"As you wish, Oben," she said, clearly not happy.
If Jerran needed her as an excuse to visit Ba'Re, so be it, Kathryn thought.
***
As Kathryn and Seven entered the Captain's quarters, Seven eyed the preoccupied older woman with concern.
"You sensed her emotions," Seven stated, prompting a weak nod and painful cringe.
"Jerran loves her," Kathryn said with new tears forming. "And she can never . . . God," she said, her hand covering her mouth as the wave of incredible sorrow washed over her. Jerran must be in her quarters crying, feeling so alone, she sensed, feeling her own her heart aching in sympathy.
Instinctively, Seven stepped towards Kathryn. She awkwardly reached out to pull her into a hug, uncertain if the older woman would accept her novice attempts at comfort. To her relief, Kathryn accepted the hug, seeking the comfort that was offered. However, she was uncertain if she should be pleased with the additional tears the hug seemed to provoke. She found it very disturbing to see Kathryn so upset, prompting a fierce desire to ease her pain.
Seven could only imagine how much more intense her feelings would be if they were bonded. But from Kathryn's response to her bond with Jerran, Seven concluded she would not welcome such intensity or emotional vulnerability. And the former Drone, who at one time shared her thoughts with millions, had become an individual, who had no desire to expose all her new-found emotions, regardless of the potential efficiencies.
As Kathryn calmed, a warm satisfaction filled Seven, who was pleased her inexperience in emotional matters did not prevent her from obtaining a successful result.
After a moment, Kathryn collected herself and pulled back awkwardly. Reluctantly, Seven released her, missing the closeness. "I'm sorry for breaking down like that," Kathryn said with embarrassment, wiping her eyes.
"Why?"
"I . . . I can't go around crying whenever I'm upset. I'm the Captain," Janeway explained uncomfortably.
Seven's ocular implant rose as she tilted her head a thoughtful moment. "When you are alone with me, you can be just Kathryn."
Kathryn looked at her with fresh tears filling her eyes, wondering if Seven truly understood the significance of that offer, or how ill-prepared, yet desperate, she was to accept it. "I'm not used to being just Kathryn," she admitted, barely above a whisper.
"With practice, you will be," Seven said with a confident practicality that prompted a small smile.
"I'm afraid there will be many things I will need to practice around you, Seven," Kathryn said with a trace of apology as she wiped her eyes again.
"I will be patient," Seven offered, pleased to hear the small chuckle from the older woman.
Kathryn's amusement faded as she took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "God, what a mess. I wanted to help Jerran but I end up hurting her."
"I fail to see how you hurt her," Seven argued.
"What about throwing in her face the fact she can never be with the one she loves!"
"You are exaggerating and inaccurate."
"How am I inaccurate?" Kathryn challenged with irritation.
"It is not clear to me Captain Ba'Re can not bond with Jerran."
"Taaks can not bond with each other, Seven. They would die," Kathryn argued.
"True. A Taak can not bond to another Taak, due to their Ke' Cha. However, Captain Ba'Re only has part of her Ke' Cha. I believe that may make it possible for her to bond with a Taak. The Doctor should be capable of confirming that theory."
Kathryn digested Seven's words a cautiously optimistic moment then sighed with worry.
"I thought you were agreeable to a conveyance. Have you changed your mind?" Seven asked with concern.
"No. You were right about Jerran needing to live as she was born to be. And according to Jerran, the conveyance can be done "naturally" without the additional risks of medically inducing it," Kathryn said, surprising Seven.
"That should please you," Seven said in confusion.
"This is not natural, Seven. You heard Jerran, Ba'Re is not "natural." She is not a del' Taak or Taak and she's not quite like the rest of the Granarians," Kathryn explained.
"Nor are you," Seven countered. "And your bond with Jerran appears to be . . . strong," she added with displeasure
"And if given a choice, I wouldn't want to be bonded," Kathryn noted. "Will Ba'Re even consider changing her life to bond with Jerran?"
"I believe so. But we would know for sure if we asked her," Seven offered dryly to the difficult woman.
"Will they even have a normal bond?" Kathryn continued, ignoring Seven's comment. "Is the uncertainty and risk of having a different kind of bond too great for us to even consider this?" She said worriedly, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Kathryn, as far as the risk, I assure you, we will not act until you are satisfied the risk is acceptable," Seven said firmly.
Kathryn smiled slightly at Seven's assurance, knowing it was something Seven thought she needed to hear.
"However, if Captain Ba'Re feels the same way about Jerran as Jerran feels for her, this option would be the most satisfying solution to date - your freedom and a bond between two people who actually love each other," Seven said, prompting a smile from the older woman.
"Why Seven of Nine, I never realized you were a romantic," Kathryn said warmly.
"I have read three hundred and eighty-five thousand, four hundred and fifty-five articles on romance," Seven offered, causing Kathryn's brow to rise in surprise. "And eighty-nine thousand, six hundred and forty-two romance novels. I believe I understand the concept of romance well enough to say that I am," Seven said as she arched her ocular implant.
"It took you that much research to understand the concept?" Kathryn teased, their eyes meeting. Confident blue eyes were suddenly less certain and dropped.
"I wanted to be thorough," Seven offered uneasily, causing Kathryn's amusement to immediately evaporate.
"Oh, Seven," Kathryn said apologetically. "You should know, I admire your thoroughness and have come to rely on it," she said sincerely, appeasing the sensitive woman. "And I have to agree. A bond between Jerran and Ba'Re would be a most satisfying solution."
"However, as you have noted, we are not certain either of them would be comfortable with the idea."
"True. Perhaps you can find something useful on bonding in the Granarian databases while I get the Doctor working on what a bonding might mean to our friends," Kathryn said.
"Agreed, " Seven said as they walked to Kathryn's front door.
Kathryn sighed and shook her head. "I wish I knew how to broach the subject with Captain Ba'Re."
"I am confident you will find a way to successfully present the option," Seven noted.
"Thanks," Kathryn said with a smirk and looked at Seven. Her smirk faded as she suddenly had the urge to kiss her goodbye, as if they had been together for ages.
"Kathryn?" Seven asked curiously, noting the odd look from her Captain.
"Hmm? Oh . . . uh, wish me luck?" Kathryn said with a sudden, weak smile as she sternly reminded herself that they hadn't even had a date yet for God's sake.
***
Captain Janeway walked towards the turbo lift, feeling like she was wearing a blinking sign, "I just kissed Seven of Nine." Well actually, she kissed me, she considered as the turbo lift doors opened, still feeling the warm flush from the surprising encounter.
"Captain," Lieutenant Torres said with surprise and an uncomfortable smile. Kathryn hesitated entering a moment, briefly contemplating waiting for an empty one. But she knew she couldn't retreat without looking suspicious and boldly stepped into the lift.
"LT," Janeway greeted the half-Klingon with authority, returning the smile. "Deck five."
B'Elanna stared straight ahead, thankful Captain Janeway was not up for her usual small talk. "I will not think about it, I will not think about it, I will not think about it," she silently chanted.
Glancing nonchalantly to her turbolift companion, Kathryn wondered what problem the Chief Engineer was working on. She had an unusually intense look of concentration on her face, she noted, relieved B'Elanna didn't seem to note anything unusual.
Janeway frowned, concluding she was being completely irrational. It wasn't as if she had done anything wrong. In fact, that kiss was so very right she was surprised she could form a coherent thought and walk away without making a complete fool of herself. Actually, she couldn't really rule that out, not remembering much after Seven's lips briefly met hers. Though she did remember Seven's logical explanation for the simple, yet perfect, intimacy.
For luck.
Kathryn chuckled, feeling decidedly lucky.
"Captain?" B'Elanna asked, hoping she didn't miss something her Captain said.
Kathryn looked up, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Uh, don't mind me, B'Elanna. Just thinking," she shrugged, with a small smile.
"Oh," Torres said with an uncertain smile, glancing at her a curious moment before the doors opened on her deck. "Uh . . . Have a good day," she said, glancing back at the Captain in mild confusion and left the turbo lift.
"You too, LT," Kathryn responded as the doors shut. She chuckled to herself and shook her head with amusement, considering she was already having a good day. A very good day indeed.
***
Kathryn entered the Doctor's office, curiously noting the hologram peeking into Sickbay at his patient, unaware of her presence.
"Doctor?" Kathryn said, causing the hologram to jump. When she looked into Sickbay herself, she smiled. Jerran was sitting next to the sleeping patient. "Doctor, you wouldn't be spying on Ba'Re and Jerran, would you?"
"I'm merely observing my patient, Captain," he said testily. "Who is currently getting much-needed sleep," he reported. "She'll be up and around in no time."
"That's good news, Doctor. How long has Jerran been in there?" Janeway asked, curiously glancing at Jerran, who sat next to the young Captain, just watching her. She could feel Jerran's worry wash over her. Unsurprisingly, her ability to sense Jerran's feelings was stronger the closer she was.
"Not long. She seemed upset to see her here," he offered with interest. "I didn't know they knew each other," he gently probed for more details on his patient and her visitor.
"It's a small universe," Kathryn said wryly. "Doctor, I would like you to begin an evaluation of the physical consequences of a bond between Ba'Re and Jerran."
"Really?" The Doctor said with fascination, glancing in the direction of his patient and the Captain's Taak.
"Really. However, I have not approached the topic with either of them so I would appreciate your discretion."
"Of course, Captain," he agreed readily.
"Please let me know when Captain Ba'Re wakes up?"
"Certainly," he said with a smile.
"Thank you," she said and left his office with a smile.
***
"Captain," Seven said with surprise as Kathryn entered Cargo Bay 2 with a cup of coffee in hand. "How did your visit go?"
"Better than I had expected," Kathryn said with a grin and sipped, curiously glancing down at Seven's console that had some Granarian text on the display.
"She agreed with the bonding??" Seven guessed.
"No. She was still asleep," Janeway said dryly, amused by the sigh and unamused expression on Seven's face.
"You must have had very low expectations," Seven countered.
"Jerran was there," she offered smugly.
"At your recommendation."
"Well, I think she would have gone anyway," Janeway argued, getting a skeptical rise of an optical implant in response. "And the Doctor has been enlisted to help."
"No doubt fascinated by the new variation in the problem."
"He's more fascinated by the prospects of Jerran and Captain Ba'Re being a couple," Kathryn offered with a smirk. "He was very curious about those two."
"He is also a romantic," Seven explained with certainty.
"Oh?" Kathryn responded curiously as a surprising twinge of jealousy bubbled up.
"He had been tutoring me on dating," she elaborated. "Though I do not think he understands as much as he would wish me to believe. He has yet to provide a satisfactory definition of chemistry," Seven said with mild irritation.
Kathryn smiled, relieved she wouldn't be forced to delete his program. "I don't think there is one, Seven. At least, I haven't found one. But as they say, you'll know it when you feel it."
Seven looked at her with curiosity, uncertain if it was appropriate to ask for confirmation.
Kathryn smiled. "I feel it. Don't you?"
"Indeed," Seven answered with a broad smile, delighted. While she realized she was no closer to an adequate definition, she no longer required one. She just knew what it was.
She simply transformed, Kathryn thought, mesmerized by her smile. "Well," Kathryn said, clearing her throat. "As much as I enjoy your company, we've got a lot of work to do," she said firmly and started to leave.
"Kathryn?" Seven asked, placing a gentle hand upon Kathryn's forearm.
***
It was there again, Jerran thought with a contented smile, inhaling deeply as the sensual feeling washed over her. She was pleased her Oben had finally allowed herself to accept it.
***
"Seven, any more luck and I'll need the Doctor," she joked, clearing her throat and stepping back from Seven, glancing back at the Cargo Bay doors uneasily.
"I am sorry," Seven said weakly, crestfallen from the rejection. Her eyes immediately dropped, unable to look Kathryn in the eye.
"Oh Seven," Kathryn said softly, stepping towards her and took her hand. "Your kisses are amazing. But there's a time and place for them," she said, glancing around with a grimace. "And in the cargo bay, while on duty, just isn't it."
"Would the cargo bay be acceptable if you were not . . . ?" Seven asked with a raised ocular implant.
"Seven," Kathryn interrupted uncomfortably, causing a frown.
"I will need assistance in determining the correct time and place," Seven admitted with frustration. "I have been distracted with thoughts of kissing you ever since we left your quarters," she revealed in a softer voice, causing a sympathetic smile. Seven wasn't the only one preoccupied with thoughts of kissing, Kathryn considered.
"Seeing you, being near you . . . the simulations had not prepared me for such . . . emotion."
Kathryn's smile faded. She didn't want to know. She was NOT going to ask. It really wasn't any of her . . . . "Simulations?" Kathryn asked with forced nonchalance.
Seven immediately looked uncomfortable.
"Never mind, Seven. You don't need to tell me," Kathryn quickly said.
"I was practicing dating," Seven offered softly, her eyes dropping with embarrassment for her lack of experience that necessitated such a step.
"As I've said," Kathryn said softly, stepping closer to the young woman. "I admire your thoroughness," she said, gently lifting Seven's chin and slowly guiding her into a kiss.
Seven was torn between desire and confusion when she leaned towards Kathryn. "I thought you said . . . ," she asked, interrupted by a surprising brush of Kathryn's lips over hers. Uncertain if Kathryn realized she was attempting to ask a question, she continued. "This was neither the time," again she was interrupted with a whisper of a kiss. While Kathryn's deliberate interruptions certainly made conversation inefficient, Seven had to acknowledge they were highly enjoyable. "Nor the place," she quickly blurted with amusement.
Kathryn pulled back slightly. "You're not the only . . . ," Kathryn explained, interrupted by a brush of lips that prompted a delighted smile. "One who has to," she continued, again interrupted with a gentle kiss. "work on," she blurted before Seven captured and briefly suckled her lower lip. "Restraint," Kathryn finished uneasily, pulling back with darkened eyes that accompanied a distinct shift in her mood.
All traces of amusement from Kathryn were gone, replaced by a hungry intensity that Seven had never seen, an intensity that thrilled her. Thoughts on which catalysts produced that result were abruptly interrupted when Kathryn pressed her lips more possessively against hers. When Kathryn's tongue touched her lips, a wave of arousal washed over her. Too swept up by the amazing feeling to be annoyed by her inability to analyze that amazing feeling, she placed her hands on Kathryn's hips, needing to be closer, needing to touch, needing . . . more.
With a hand on Seven's arm and its companion slipping behind Seven's neck with a tingling caress, Kathryn deepened their kiss.
***
Karryn Ba'Re's eyes opened to a wonderful sight - a smile on Jerran's face. She had not realized until then, how much she missed that smile.
"Good thoughts?" Ba'Re said softly, her voice cracking from disuse.
"Captain Ba'Re," Jerran blurted with surprise. Ba'Re frowned at the formality.
"Please, Jerran. Call me Karryn."
"A Taak would never address a Captain by their first name," Jerran said uneasily, getting a sad sigh and nod. It was the way, Ba'Re considered, sadly acknowledging Jerran was too ingrained in tradition to challenge "the way."
"How do you feel?" Jerran asked.
"Better than I expected. I'm alive," Karryn offered with a weak shrug. She looked at Jerran a thoughtful moment. "I am pleased you're here, Jerran," she admitted, allowing a rare hopeful smile as she reached out for her hand.
"Captain Janeway thought it would help your recovery to have familiar faces around you," Jerran offered stiffly and moved her hand before they touched.
Her words and actions caused Karryn's smile to fade.
"I'm not contagious. I can't hurt you," Ba'Re said tersely.
Jerran wanted to respond, but didn't. Instead, she struggled with the growing arousal that coursed through her. She closed her eyes a moment at the clear reminder that neither her feelings, nor her body, were her own. And Captain Ba'Re was the only person to ever make her regret that. Karryn didn't have to be contagious to make her hurt.
"I know you are not contagious. The Doctor told me," Jerran finally told her tightly, prompting a worried look.
After an uneasy moment, Karryn nodded with acceptance and took a deep breath to steel herself. "I'm on borrowed time anyway, I suppose," she said, trying to be philosophical. But she couldn't help feel nervous about what fate lay before her.
"No, you misunderstand," Jerran quickly blurted to correct her. "Captain Janeway has no desire to expose you," she explained. "They accidentally learned of your condition when the Doctor was tending you."
"Why all the questions about Taaks and del' Taaks before Yatook's attack?" Ba'Re asked, still uneasy.
"Captain Janeway wants to understand," Jerran said simply, her eyes dropping sadly.
"She's not the only one," Ba'Re said wearily.
Jerran sighed heavily. "My Oben does not wish to have a Taak. However, she cares about my well-being and. . ."
"Great Provider! She took hostages to find a suitable Oben for you?!?" Ba'Re asked in astonishment.
Jerran nodded uncomfortably, causing Ba'Re to stare at her incredulously.
***
Seven pulled the older woman into her firmly as their kissing continued. The resulting moan prompted her to place her arms more possessively around Kathryn's smaller frame, hoping to provoke more of that stimulating sound, or at a minimum, not lose the wondrous sensation of their bodies touching.
"Kahless!"
Abruptly breaking their heated kiss, they glanced towards the entrance with surprise. Only a glimpse of the back of the fleeing Chief Engineer could be seen as the cargo bay doors swished shut.
"I wasn't laughing at you, Jerran," Ba'Re said apologetically, wiping the tears from her face, feeling bad for Jerran's embarrassment. "But you have to admit, no Granarian will ever believe the sole reason for Captain Janeway's latest "affront" is to help find her Taak a new Oben."
"I do not find my failure amusing," Jerran said stubbornly.
"You haven't failed, Jerran," Ba'Re said wearily.
"How do you know?!?" Jerran responded angrily.
"Because you had no way to succeed," Ba'Re said.
"That is failing!"
"Jerran, if Captain Janeway wanted a Taak but she didn't want your service, THAT would be a failure," Ba'Re argued.
"What do you know about service?!?" Jerran snapped, unwilling to accept her inability to please as anything other than a failure. However, she quickly learned of her resounding success at hitting a nerve.
"I may not serve an Oben, as I was born to," Ba'Re said tightly, struggling to contain her anger. "But I do serve. I serve many. I serve the guard, the Council, and most importantly, the Granarian people, including Taaks. So don't you DARE tell me I don't know about service," Ba'Re blurted vehemently, her green eyes flashing with an anger Jerran had never seen before.
"I did not mean to insult you . . . Captain," Jerran quickly said, startled by her anger.
Ba'Re's anger quickly faded. "No," she said with a sad sigh, accepting the apology, and turned her head to gaze at the Sickbay ceiling. "You just don't understand," she said softly, the words striking a familiar chord with the Taak.
***
Her search lead her to a 15th deck compartment in the belly of Voyager, where crewmen were not needed to stand watch unless a landing was in progress. It was not. Seven came upon two legs that jutted out from beneath the landing gear control console.
"B'Elanna," Seven called out over the hum of a calibration tool. "B'Elanna," Seven said again, finally causing the hum to stop.
"What?" LT Torres said impatiently.
"I would like to talk with you," Seven said and stared at her legs, before clarifying. "Face-to-face."
"I'm really busy, Seven. Can't we do this another time?"
"No."
"Fine. But I'm going to continue working," she said stubbornly as she turned on the tool, which resumed its hum.
"Very well," Seven said with a displeased sigh, staring at her legs. "I wish to understand your reaction to seeing Kathryn and I kiss."
After a moment, the tool's hum stopped.
"Did the Captain send you here to make sure I don't blab about it?" B'Elanna said tersely.
"She did not send me. And we are not worried about your "blabbing" about it," Seven responded.
"Good, cause I won't. But I strongly recommend you don't get all hot and bothered in a public place. Someone else might not be able to keep it to themselves."
The hum started again.
Seven looked at the black uniformed legs with frustration. "I appreciate your discretion and advice, but you appear upset. I wish to understand why."
"I am not upset."
"I thought you understood I wished to develop a more intimate relationship with the Captain. I thought you would be pleased for me. However, your reaction indicates you are upset with this development."
The hum stopped.
"I'm not upset!" B'Elanna snapped tersely.
"Why am I having a conversation with your legs on Deck 15?" Seven asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I have work to do."
Seven frowned with disappointment. "I did not mean to disturb you," she said, leaving the Chief Engineer to her work.
***
"Aren't you going to go in there?" the Doctor asked Janeway, who shook her head no as she backed away from the window in his office, having overheard the end of their heated discussion.
"They need to talk it out," she said. "Any progress on your research?"
"Yes. The results from my experiments have confirmed Seven's theory. Jerran can bond with Captain Ba'Re," he said with cautious optimism.
"That's good news . . . isn't it?" She asked guardedly, noting his tempered enthusiasm.
"There are still some risks," he offered, turning his data Padd over to her.
He watched her closely for any reaction to the data. However, her neutral face betrayed none of her thoughts as she read over his findings and assessment.
"I wish I could provide you with a more accurate prediction," he said apologetically.
"This will do, Doctor. Even with the inaccuracies, the risks are better than what Jerran would have faced with the medically induced conveyance," she said, handing the Padd back to him.
"Are you sure you wish to proceed?" He asked gently.
"Yes. This is the best answer. But I've got two others to
convince," she said, glancing back to Sickbay thoughtfully.
***
"Computer, time," Janeway said with a winded breath as she rushed around her quarters. She was tucking in her cream blouse while trying to set the table, cursing at herself for not timing the preparations better.
"The time is 1759."
"Noooo," she growled, knowing Seven was going to be excruciatingly punct. . . .
The door chimed.
Kathryn's eyes rolled as she quickly placed the silverware in its appropriate place and rushed to her ensuite to quickly freshen up. She grabbed her brush when the door chimed again, causing a groan. Kathryn tossed her hair brush back onto the counter with a frown as she rushed to the door.
***
After the second door chime, Seven frowned, wondering if her internal chronometer had malfunctioned. "Computer, time."
"The time is 1801."
Her ocular implant rose. Before she could depress the chime a third time, the door opened to reveal Kathryn sporting an apologetic grimace. "Sorry, I miscal. . ." her apology was distracted by Seven's appearance.
Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, like a golden waterfall, perfectly contrasting against the rich, dark blue of her casual dress. Unlike her normally skin-tight outfits, her dress was a modest cut that flattered, not flaunted, her exceptional attributes, making it even more provocative to Kathryn.
"Kathryn?" Seven said, self-consciously looking down at her dress.
"You look . . . lovely," she exhaled softly, causing a relieved breath from Seven. After another moment of silent appreciation, with Seven still in the hallway, Kathryn blinked and blurted "Oh! Come in! Please." She stepped back from the door, motioning Seven in with a slight wince at her horrible manners. When she noticed Seven had not entered and disappeared, Kathryn curiously poked her head out into the hallway and saw her picking up a large, rectangular object, perfectly wrapped with cream paper and a red bow.
"Is that for me?" Kathryn said with surprise as Seven entered her quarters with the package.
"Is it not appropriate to bring your date a token of affection?" Seven said, particularly pleased with herself, motioning for Kathryn to open the large offering.
Kathryn grinned with delight and pealed the wrapping off. The gift made her smile with amusement.
"Well, furniture isn't typically something I'd expect on a first date," she said wryly, missing the distressed look on Seven's face. "But this is perfect," she gushed, affectionately touching the beautifully-crafted gift. "It's exactly what I need, thank you!" Kathryn looked up to see Seven's face light up with pleasure.
"Would you like it in the same location?" Seven asked.
"Yes. Please," Kathryn said eagerly, allowing Seven to put the coffee table in its rightful place.
***
After a nap, then waking to a very long period of silence between them, Ba'Re concluded that Jerran wasn't intending to leave her side. It was both frustrating and comforting.
"Ga'let is the most senior officer, but he wouldn't be right for you," Ba'Re finally said, glancing at Jerran briefly before returning her gaze to the ceiling. "It's unfortunate Captain Janeway didn't get a better selection," she considered with a sigh.
Jerran frowned.
***
Kathryn pulled out two plates of beef stew from the replicator with a relieved smile, thankful her bad luck with cooking wasn't going to ruin dinner this evening.
"Here you go," Kathryn said, placing the plate in front of Seven, who looked at the stew neutrally.
"I could make you a nutritional supplement or something else if you don't like stew," Kathryn offered as she joined Seven at the table.
"I do not know if I like it or not. I have never had beef stew, or any of the stews Mr. Nelix has offered the crew," Seven said honestly.
"Oh. Well, this is my mother's recipe, which I think you'll like. But if you don't, I can replicate something else for you."
"Isn't it impolite to ask for something else?" Seven said, picking up a fork.
"Hmm. If someone has gone to a great deal of trouble preparing a meal, I suppose it would be," she said.
"Is that why you will try Mr. Nelix's creations?"
"I should probably try them more often," she said guiltily. "I do feel bad that he tries so hard to please us and doesn't always succeed," Kathryn said with a slight cringe.
"Diplomatically put," Seven said, causing a small smile from her dinner companion.
"I've had years of training," Kathryn offered and took a bite of stew.
"I wonder how much training I will need to become comfortable in social situations. There are many unknown variables," Seven revealed with mild concern.
"Oh yeah. And there are still occasions when I'd rather read a book than deal with those variables," Kathryn said wryly, then took another bite of stew.
"That is not encouraging," Seven said flatly and sampled the stew as Kathryn chuckled.
Looking at Kathryn with mild surprise, Seven offered "this is delicious."
Kathryn smiled. "Mother will be pleased to hear."
***
"And CDR Rath won't work, so that leaves LT Olan. He is a good man but too young for that responsibility," she said thoughtfully. "Maybe Captain Janeway will get some more "volunteers" if you ask her to," Ba'Re suggested, still staring at the Sickbay ceiling.
"I will accept my Oben's decision."
Ba'Re turned her head and eyed Jerran. "You have no opinions whatsoever?"
Jerran looked down uncomfortably. "Taaks do not choose their Obens, you know that."
"Just because it isn't normally done, doesn't mean it's not a good idea. I think it's a great idea. You actually have a chance to pick someone who will treat you like a gift, not a slave, someone you want to serve."
"Once bonded, I will accommodate, you know that too," Jerran said tightly.
"But your Oben wants you to chose and you will not. That doesn't sound very accommodating to me."
"You do not understand," Jerran blurted righteously, then winced, knowing she was no better in understanding Captain Ba'Re's condition.
"I do, Jerran. You have lived your life hiding behind your service, letting others make important decisions for you. Now you have the chance to make the most important decision in your life and it terrifies you. Trust me, Jerran, I understand fear."
"I have made decisions in my life. Important decisions," Jerran argued. "I decided not to tell Taghra of you!"
Ba'Re looked at Jerran, whose intense gaze dropped uncomfortably. Karryn made her very uncomfortable. "Yes. At your own personal risk. Thank you," Ba'Re said softly.
"I am not seeking thanks, just making a point."
"All right, you made that significant decision. But why not make another, even more important decision? Jerran, you will never have another opportunity like this to choose your Oben. Please do not waste it."
"Why does this matter to you so much?" Jerran asked with great frustrated.
"They took my Ke' Cha, Jerran, not my heart. I still. . . ."
"I must go," Jerran interrupted and stood abruptly.
Karryn sadly watched the Taak flee. ". . . care," she finished weakly and returned her gaze to the Sickbay ceiling with a heavy sigh.
***
"The meal was delicious, Kathryn. Thank you," Seven said politely as they sat on the sofa.
"I'm relieved the replicator cooperated," Kathryn said with a wry grin, placing her coffee cup on her brand-new coffee table. "I don't have the best of luck. . . ."
Unable to endure any more social pleasantries, Seven leaned over and kissed Kathryn soundly. Kathryn's initial surprise faded as her passion quickly grew.
Suddenly, Kathryn placed a hand on Seven's collar bone and gently pushed her away. "Seven," Kathryn gasped.
"I wish to continue kissing you, Kathryn," Seven announced huskily. "I enjoy it, very much," she said and leaned in for another kiss, which Kathryn prevented with another gentle push.
"Seven, no. Please," she said, struggling with her troubled emotions.
"We are not on duty," Seven said in confusion. "This is not the cargo bay," Seven added uneasily. "You do not wish to kiss me?" She asked with a sudden fear that Kathryn did not find it as pleasant as she did. She quickly pulled back, giving the distance Kathryn seemed to need as her heart broke.
"Damn it!" Kathryn hissed, worrying her dejected suitor more.
Kathryn's shaky hand tapped her com badge. "Computer, locate Jerran," Kathryn said with a grimace, surprising Seven.
"Jerran is in her quarters," the computer responded pleasantly.
Kathryn looked at Seven apologetically. "I . . . I'm sorry . . . ." Kathryn said miserably, her passion in conflict with Jerran's heartache.
"Jerran is upset?" Seven quickly gathered.
Kathryn shut her eyes tightly and nodded with frustration.
"I'm sorry," Seven said softly, upset she had been pushing the troubled woman, adding to her emotional conflict.
"Oh darling, you have nothing to be sorry for," Kathryn quickly responded, reaching out and tenderly cupping Seven's cheek as she looked deeply into her eyes. "When we make love for the first time, I want you to have my undivided attention."
The term of endearment should have pleased Seven. However, she was too startled. Her research on dating customs indicated copulation on the first date was a low probability and not to be expected for those practicing conservative values. Her logical assumption that Kathryn would be in that category had apparently been erroneous. Even her logical gift selection had not been a typical first date gift, as Kathryn had pointed out, though she did appear to appreciate the gift. Seven couldn't help but think her research had been inadequate.
She detested the thought of being inadequate for Kathryn. However, the current circumstance provided her a short reprieve to determine how best to proceed, without the relying on her flawed research or logic. With relief, she reached out and grasped Kathryn's hand.
"Acceptable."
***
The chime startled Jerran, who wiped her tears and stood. "Come."
Jerran watched Seven enter, knowing why she was there. "I am sorry I ruined your evening" she said sadly, feeling more miserable after seeing Seven's beautiful dress.
"You only interrupted it," Seven replied.
***
"Captain Janeway," Ba'Re said with a smile as the older Captain entered Sickbay. "I was wondering when I would get a chance to meet with you."
"Captain Ba'Re," she greeted her with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"That's a bit hard to answer, Captain. But I am well, thanks to you and your Doctor," she said.
"Do you know why Yatook attacked you?"
"I guess Errgess thought it would be a clean way to get rid of me," she said. "You would take the blame for both the loss of a Taak and a Captain of the Guard, while he would gain some political capital by rallying the people against the infamous Captain Janeway and her heinous acts."
"But you are not a threat to him, are you?"
"I threaten his ego. I tend not to show the proper deference to my superiors when they are being idiots. That doesn't go over very well, especially when I point out their ignorance publicly."
"Jerran had mentioned that," Janeway offered with a small smirk. "You don't think you're a threat politically? Surely your being highly vocal must have some influence on policy."
"I can only hope. However, I'm afraid the Counsel has yet to take my positions seriously."
"It's amazing what persistence can accomplish," Kathryn encouraged with a smirk.
Ba'Re nodded and eyed Captain Janeway. "Jerran mentioned your desire to find her another Oben. Your plan, unfortunately, didn't produce much of a choice. LT Olan is the only really suitable candidate and he's too young for the responsibility," Ba'Re said firmly, surprising Kathryn with her directness. But then, everything about Captain Ba'Re seemed refreshingly straightforward, she considered.
"What about CDR Ga'let?" Kathryn asked innocently.
"You do remember meeting him, right?" She asked with a distasteful grimace. Kathryn nodded, withholding a grin. Yep, straightforward, she concluded.
"I was impressed with CDR Rath," Kathryn offered sincerely, getting a thoughtful nod.
"He's a good man, but like me," Ba'Re offered, surprising Janeway with her disclosure. Ba'Re smiled at her startled look and explained. "There are a good number of Granarians like Rath and myself, living among the population, Captain," Karryn offered. "You know of the sickness?" She asked, getting an interested nod from the older Captain.
"It has spread. No one has dared to speak of this, but I believe, over time, the sickness will alter our people for good. Del' Taaks will no longer exist and so go the Taaks."
"Has a Taak ever died from this sickness?" Kathryn asked with concern.
Ba'Re was pleased with her concern for Jerran. "No. The doctors think once a del' Taak is bonded, the Ke' Cha provides immunity. I can't help but wonder if this sickness is the Great Provider's punishment. For too long now, Obens have been taking the precious gift of the bond for granted," she offered in a moment of reflection.
"I'm surprised you would think it was a precious gift," Kathryn said.
"I understand you think it more a curse. And for many Taaks it is, if an Oben fails to give, fails to protect, and fails to revere the sacred connection with another," Ba'Re allowed. "But it can be a beautiful and profound gift, if between two people who respect it for what it is and what it can be."
"That sounds like you and Jerran," Kathryn offered warmly.
"That is not possible," Ba'Re countered, wincing as if dealt a physical blow. "You should know that," she added tersely.
"Actually, Captain," Janeway said with a pleased grin. "It is."
***
"Oh for GOD'S SAKE!" Kathryn growled with extreme frustration as she entered her quarters.
"I take it your meeting with Ba'Re did not go well," Seven said, patiently waiting on her sofa.
"She said no!" Kathryn blurted with amazement.
"You explained the Doctor's findings?" Seven asked curiously.
"Of course, I did. Then the Doctor explained. And I repeated what he said, just to make sure she understood," Kathryn said, beginning her pacing. "And she still said she was not the right choice!"
"Her reaction is not entirely surprising," Seven offered, getting an incredulous look from Kathryn.
"She thinks the bond is a gift and she LOVES Jerran!" Kathryn barked with frustration, pacing.
"She also wishes for Jerran to truly want her," Seven offered.
"But she DOES!" Kathryn said with exasperation.
"Jerran is battling fear."
Kathryn sighed, shaking her head. "I just don't understand. Jerran has a chance to speak her heart, with my blessing, and she won't do it."
"The Borg are not designed to desire anything but perfection," Seven said softly, getting Kathryn's curious attention at the apparent non sequitur. "Taaks are not designed to seek anything more than service to their Obens. However, I am, at my core, human, which drives me to seek something diametrically opposed to perfection," Seven offered, prompting a confused look from Kathryn. "The frustratingly imprecise uncertainty of love. However, Jerran is, at her core, still a Taak."
Seven's optical implant rose, confident she made her point. Jerran was not likely to change.
"Love may be frustrating and imprecise, Seven, but it is perfection," Kathryn countered softly, surprising the former Borg.
Seven looked at her a pensive moment, weighing her words.
"And what of the uncertainty?" Seven asked, prompting a small smile.
"That's just human nature."
Seven's eyes dropped in disappointment, certain her feelings towards the older woman would never change. But what if that was not true for Kathryn? What if she finds her inadequate?
"People and their emotions can change, Seven," Kathryn explained. "Which has got to be true for Granarians," Kathryn argued, based on a gut feeling. "I think Jerran will come around and admit Ba'Re is the right one for her."
Seven looked at Kathryn with mild irritation.
"Jerran is a Taak, Kathryn. She can not be expected to overcome her nature as easily as humans change their minds," Seven said tersely, causing Kathryn to eye her curiously. "When I told her of the option to bond with Captain Ba'Re, she once again refused to offer any opinions and said she would defer to her Oben."
Kathryn rolled her eyes with frustration. "Maybe you're right. She is also uncomfortable, maybe even afraid of what Ba'Re has become," Kathryn said reluctantly. The accompanying sigh of defeat took away any pleasure Seven would have normally felt with the near admission of her being right.
"You know, I'm really tempted to . . . ," Kathryn added with weary irritation, then shook her head with another sigh.
"Tempted to what?"
Kathryn rubbed her temples. "I know this is the right answer but I can't force them to do it."
"But you could," Seven countered, prompting a hard look from Kathryn. "However, I understand that is not the solution you desire," Seven acknowledged.
"You make it sound like a simple preference. It's not. I can't violate their rights," Kathryn said firmly, then shook her head sadly. "But if I don't, it might never happen. Good GOD when will this nightmare end?" Kathryn moaned and sat on the sofa next to Seven. When she reached back to rub her stiff neck, Seven moved closer and gently pushed Kathryn's hand away, replacing it with her own.
"It will work out, Kathryn," Seven said confidently as she started to massage the tense muscles.
Kathryn released a moan as Seven kneaded a particularly tight muscle. "You certainly have a knack for this. Thank you," she exhaled with relief.
"I have studied two hundred and thirty-nine forms of massage," Seven offered conversationally, causing Kathryn to blink and try to ignore the erotic thoughts provoked by the innocent comment.
"Well, as I've said, I appreciate your thoroughness," Kathryn joked uncomfortably, closing her eyes as Seven's fingers skillfully found and relieved each aching neck and shoulder muscle. She could feel almost all of the tension slipping away.
"Actually, Kathryn," Seven said, leaning closer, her warm breath caressing her ear. "You have yet to fully appreciate my thoroughness."
Kathryn's eyes popped open and she jumped up from the sofa, turning towards the not-so-innocent young woman.
"That was not nice!" Kathryn scolded her.
Seven looked at her with an expectant tilt of her head. Jerran's insightful suggestion of gathering empirical data on Kathryn's responses was proving helpful, she considered as she studied the current response with fascination. "Perhaps, if you are not ready for bed, we could enjoy a game of kadis-kot?" Seven suggested, noting the look of disbelief flash across Kathryn's face, just before her eyes narrowed.
"Kadis-kot," Janeway repeated flatly, never realizing Seven had such an evil streak in her.
"If not kadis-kot, I am certain I would thoroughly enjoy any other suggestions you have, Kathryn," Seven offered.
Pure evil. . . .
***
Well after the last diner had left the mess hall, B'Elanna entered. Having avoided any gatherings where the Captain or Seven, or both would appear, and not in the mood to return to her quarters and have Tom stop by to pout about not having had sex in a while, she was now starving. She rummaged behind the counter for some leftovers and grabbed an apple. When she spotted an oddly shaped container, her stomach growled, prompting her to grab the container and a fork and take her chances.
Standing up with her spoils, she spotted someone sitting in the corner, dejectedly staring out the window. It was Jerran.
She walked over to the Granarian. "You OK?"
Jerran looked up, startled by her presence. "I am fine," Jerran answered flatly.
"Oh. Want some fruit?" She said, holding out the apple she found.
"No."
"Oh," she placed an apple on the table in front of the woman anyway. Jerran stared at it a moment before picking it up. She was hungry, she considered with a sigh, and took a bite.
"Want some company?"
"No."
"Oh," B'Elanna said and sat down anyway. Jerran looked at her with amazement, chewing on her apple. B'Elanna shrugged. "I've never been a very good listener. So you probably don't want to spill your guts to me," she said, opening the container and peaking in with a grimace. "Kahless," she hissed. It was left-over jelly roast. Congealed.
"I do not need to spill my guts," Jerran said tersely, taking another bite of apple and cringing at the Klingon, who stabbed a piece of roast with her fork.
"Good," B'Elanna said with relief, then inspected the slimy, purply orange-green piece of food on her fork.
"You are not seriously going to eat that," Jerran asked with a grimace.
"Klingon's fear no food," she said sternly, her projection of confidence was undermined by her squeamish wince as she quickly shoved the fork in her mouth. "OH GOD!" She mumbled with surprise, her hand darting up to her mouth.
"Should I get the Doctor?" Jerran asked in alarm. B'Elanna rapidly shook her head no and swallowed.
"This is . . . amazing!" B'Elanna said, stunned. "You should try it," she said with enthusiasm, stabbing another piece and offering her fork.
"I don't think so," Jerran said firmly, wondering if the jelly roast had some narcotic properties.
"Come on, don't be afraid just because it's totally repulsive," B'Elanna said, then took another bite. She seemed to actually enjoy it, Jerran noted curiously. "It's wonderful!"
B'Elanna's enjoyment piqued Jerran's curiosity. The engineer chuckled as she took another bite. "And here I thought Nelix was just trying to poison us. I wonder what other treats I've missed out on because I let my assumptions get in the way," she said and shook her head thoughtfully.
"So, why are you all gloomy?" B'Elanna asked, licking her fork.
"I do not wish to talk to you," Jerran said, turning her gaze from the jelly roast to the star cluster out the window.
"Fine with me. Seven tries to talk to me about the Captain but I really don't want to know," she said wearily, taking another bite of roast.
Jerran returned her gaze to the woman who had shot her Oben. Her eyes narrowed sensing trouble. "Are you not pleased they have accepted their feelings for each other?"
"Sure but. . . ," B'Elanna said and cringed.
"But what?"
"I guess I'm, uh, . . . a bit jealous," she said with reluctance.
"You have feelings for Seven!?!" Jerran asked with concern. Her previous two Obens had been extremely jealous, resulting in a shortened life for the unfortunates who attempted to woo their wives. She never did find out what happened to the unfortunate who attempted to seduce her. Thankfully Taghra knew she could never have encouraged such attention. She was his. But she worried how her Oben would respond to any interference with her blossoming relationship with Seven. Janeway wasn't like her other Obens. She might even step aside if she thought it was what Seven really wanted, Jerran thought with concern.
"No! Well, she's a friend," B'Elanna said uncomfortably.
"You have feelings for Captain Janeway, then?" Jerran asked gently. It was not hard to imagine many of the crew would find her Oben highly desirable. She was intelligent, attractive, and held an honorable and respected position. Her smaller physical stature was easily forgotten when she took command of a situation, becoming almost larger than life. Jerran couldn't help but think of Captain Ba'Re, who was even of slighter frame than her Oben, and how her passion flowed when debating poorly conceived plans and laws, in spite of the personal risks.
"You can't have feelings for the Captain," B'Elanna said tersely.
Jerran eyed her an uneasy moment. "Then what makes you jealous?"
B'Elanna sighed and looked at her now-empty container, collecting her thoughts. "They have something I don't think I'll ever have," she said softly. "Even before they acknowledged it, there was something special between them, something so fundamentally right."
Jerran nodded thoughtfully. It was a rare gift indeed to find someone who fit, who completed you, who made you better than you really were. But fate was fickle and could spoil the most perfect gift, she considered regrettably.
"Watching them now. . . ," B'Elanna shrugged. "just makes me feel like maybe I'm just taking the least complicated route. I keep thinking, what if I'm missing out on something special like what they have because I'm settling?" She said wistfully then laughed self-consciously as she absently poked her fork around the empty container. "Sounds foolish, doesn't it?"
"No. Not foolish," Jerran said softly, staring at B'Elanna's empty container with growing unease.