“Have you even bothered to unpack, Jo?” Blair asked as she helped Jo into the master bedroom, amazed by all the boxes that were still untouched.
“Shoulda done more. Sorry,” Jo mumbled dejectedly as Blair winced guiltily as she sat Jo on the bed.
“We’ll just do it together, OK?” Blair said soothingly, getting Jo to nod absently.
Jo tried to take her sneakers off but Blair knelt before her, gently pushing her uncoordinated hands away and slipped off the footwear. “Don’t have to . . . I can do it,” Jo said, blinking as she tried for her socks.
Blair grasped her hands. “Jo. Please, let me do this for you,” she asked, looking into sad, bleary eyes.
“Why . . . would you want to?” Jo whispered in anguish as tears filled her eyes.
“Oh Jo,” Blair said, her heart breaking. “Because I love you.”
“Still?” Jo asked uncertainly as tears fell.
“Still,” Blair confirmed. Squeezing Jo’s hands, she added “Always.”
“Always,” Jo said reverently, grasping onto that thought like she was Blair’s hands - tightly.
Blair leaned in and placed a tender kiss on her lips before looking in her eyes to make sure she understood. “Always,” she repeated with conviction, getting a sigh of relief and weak nod.
“Now, let’s get you out of these clothes,” Blair said softly, reaching up to wipe Jo’s tear stained cheek.
A slow smile filled Jo’s face. “Then you,” she suggested with a weak, but sly chuckle.
“Jo,” Blair said, rolling her eyes as she stood. “Is that all you think about?”
“Apart waaaay too long,” Jo offered, awkwardly lifting her arms upon Blair’s silent command.
“I’ll agree with you on that,” she said, carefully pulling Jo’s sweatshirt off. She immediately saw the gold chain that Jo normally wore, which now threaded through her wedding rings.
“Jo,” she whispered with anguish, letting her fingers trace down the chain to her rings.
“I’m so sorry,” Jo said apprehensively.
“No. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Blair countered firmly as she sat next to Jo.
“I broke the promise,” Jo said uneasily, her eyes dropping.
“Jo, I know you didn’t. I know what happened,” she said gently, caressing her cheek. “And if anyone should apologize, it’s me,” she said, dropping her hand uncomfortably. “I broke the most important promise of all. For better or worse, remember that one?” she said with a guilty wince. “Can you ever forgive me?” Blair asked earnestly.
“Always,” Jo said simply as her unsteady hand managed to reverently caress Blair’s cheek, earning a small smile.
“I love you so much,” Blair whispered and pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Love you,” Jo said softly as her hand managed to find Blair’s dress zipper and start to pull.
“Jo!” She said with exasperation, grabbing her hand to stop its drunken campaign as warm lips nipped deliciously at her neck, skillfully coaxing her arousal.
“Need you,” Jo whispered between kisses, further challenging her resolve.
“Jo, let me at least hang up my dress,” Blair complained as she succumbed to the onslaught of kisses, against her better judgment.
“Hurry,” Jo whispered in her ear before planting another kiss on her neck.
Blair stood and caressed Jo’s face before reaching back to pull down her zipper. She smiled as Jo intently watched her. “I’ll be right back,” she promised and went to the closet.
***
“I’m sorry for drinking so much, Maur,” Jane said uneasily. While not as drunk as Jo, she knew she was too incapacitated to drive and didn’t think Maura would appreciate her being amorous while drunk. “Kinda ruined a close to perfect evening,” she said apologetically, pulling her tie off sloppily with one hand and tossing it onto bureau as her other held an icepack to her eye.
“You have nothing to apologize for. The circumstances were understandable, Jane,” Maura said, pulling Jane to her bed. “Sit.”
“Bossy,” Jane snorted with amusement, watching Maura go to the bureau to retrieve the tie.
“When necessary,” Maura noted as she placed the errant tie neatly on a hanger and hung it up in the closet.
As she returned to take Jane’s uniform jacket, Jane offered quietly. “I don’t mind.”
Maura looked at her uneasily, then frowned, noting the ice pack in Jane’s lap. “Keep the ice on your eye,” Maura said firmly, before going back to the closet to carefully hang the jacket up.
Jane sighed and placed the ice on her eye again, watching Maura fuss at some apparent lint on her jacket.
Maura returned to unbutton Jane’s shirt.
“I’m glad Blair isn’t holding what we did against Jo,” Jane said, finding Maura’s silence unnerving.
“It is fortunate for them that Blair realized her promise was poorly worded,” Maura said neutrally, taking the shirt to the closet, also hanging it up with great care.
“Yeah,” Jane frowned, noting Maura was not looking her in the eye. She awkwardly untied her shoes with one hand, careful to keep the ice on her eye as instructed. Kicking off her shoes and pulling of her socks, Jane noted there was something bothering Maura, who remained unusually . . . detached.
“Jane,” Maura exhaled with exasperation when Jane tossed her shoes and socks towards the bureau.
“Sorry,” Jane said with a wince, realizing the chaos she was brining to Maura this evening; Maura did not like chaos. As she started to get up to reclaim her shoes, suspecting they too had a designated spot in the closet, Maura held up a firm hand, stopping her.
“I’ve got it,” she said, retrieving the shoes and socks and taking them into the closet.
“Are you mad, Maura?” Jane asked with a wince as she unbuckled her pants. “I know this wasn’t the evening that either of us had planned.”
“I’m not mad. Up,” she said, getting Jane to stand.
“Really? You sure seem mad,” Jane said, gently grasping Maura’s hand as she reached for her pants.
“I’m not,” Maura said firmly before her gaze uncomfortably dropped.
“Ok,” Jane said, not liking this odd vibe she was getting from Maura.
“Pants,” Maura said and quietly pulled down Jane’s pants, which Jane would have thought would be very arousing. But right now, Jane felt like a patient.
“You sure you’re not mad?” Jane asked again, causing Maura to look at her with annoyance.
“Jane! I’ve already told you I’m not mad. Sit.”
Jane exhaled and sat. “But you’re not talking to me,” Jane complained as Maura pulled off her pants.
“What do you call what I am doing now?” Maura countered, taking her pants and hanging them up next to her other uniform items.
“Proving a point,” Jane grumbled with a frown as Maura smiled thinly. She knew she wouldn’t win a debate with Maura normally, but drunk?
Sitting down on the bed next to her, Maura unhooked Jane’s bra, another act that she would have thought erotic. But with Maura’s continued professional detachment, Jane could only frown. Awkwardly, Jane slipped off the bra, juggling her icepack. Maura folded it and placed it on the bureau. Opening up the second drawer, she pulled out blue silk pajamas. She returned to the bed and helped Jane dress in them.
Quietly taking the icepack, Maura went to the bathroom as Jane quietly slipped under the covers, never having felt more like a stranger in this room.
“Teeth, Jane.” Maura noted firmly, returning from the bathroom.
“Uh, yeah. Forgot. Sorry,” she said as she went to the ensuite. She looked in the mirror with a wince, seeing the slight discoloration starting to form around her eye. She slowly brushed her teeth, giving Maura some privacy to change. She honestly didn’t expect that she would feel the need to after what they had shared together. And that worried her.
After spitting, Jane rinsed her mouth out and took a fortifying breath.
Maura had efficiently changed into beautiful burgundy silk pajamas and was already in bed when Jane returned. Maura was sitting up, looking tense; her gaze was everywhere but on Jane.
“Maura?” Jane asked hesitantly, feeling surprising dread.
“Yes, Jane?” Maura said, finally looking at her.
She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was unwelcome. “Should I . . . go to the guest room?”
Maura dropped her gaze uncomfortably, causing Jane’s stomach to drop.
“Oh,” Jane whispered with hurt.
***
Efficiently slipping out of her dress and undergarments and into a short silk robe, Blair quickly returned to Jo as promised.
She stopped in her tracks and blew out a frustrated breath when she spotted the still form sprawled out on the bed, lightly snoring. Shaking her head at the unsurprising interruption to their night of passion, she removed her pants and put a nightshirt on her wife.
As Blair tucked her under the covers, Jo shifted slightly and mumbled something unintelligible before resuming her soft snoring.
Blair softly chuckled as she slipped under the covers on her side of the bed. Leaning towards her, she tenderly kissed Jo’s temple. She whispered with a sly smile “You are so going to make this up to me,” before kissing her again and settling in for comfortable slumber next to her wife.
***
In the morning, Maura quietly made breakfast, listening to the shower that had just started. She mechanically got out the plates and silverware as the French toast cooked and coffee brewed.
When Jane joined her, breakfast was ready. Perfect timing, she considered absently but took no satisfaction in that fact. She smiled weakly and greeted Jane. “Good morning, Jane.”
Jane looked at her a moment before responding. “Morning.”
“Have a seat, breakfast is ready,” Maura said politely.
“Thank you,” Jane said politely and sat, watching Maura closely.
Maura tried to ignore the Detective’s gaze as she served the meal. When she finally sat, she lifted her cup of coffee to her lips and took a sip.
Jane lifted her cup and also sipped, quietly looking at Maura.
The meal was eaten in silence as Jane waited for Maura to say something. When nearly finished, Jane couldn’t stand the tension between them and softly asked Maura. “What’s going on, Maura? You’re scaring me.”
“I’m not trying to scare you, Jane.”
“Well thank God for that,” she joked with a small smile. But she saw no amusement in Maura’s eyes, which made Jane more nervous.
“Are . . . are you upset about me getting drunk last night?” Jane said, pretty certain that wasn’t the case, since Maura told her that last night. But it would be something easy to deal with, she considered, her gut telling her this was going to be far from easy.
“No, Jane. As I’ve told you, the circumstances were understandable. I even understand why you provoked the Lieutenant, though considering her emotional state, it was fortunate you only received a black eye,” she said, glancing at the discoloration.
Jane frowned. “Then why have you put up a wall between us, Maura? What’s going on?”
Maura glanced away and cringed. She had put up a wall. That’s what she always did when things became emotionally difficult.
“Are . . . are you having second thoughts?” Jane asked the one thing that worried her most.
Maura glanced at her, feeling guilt at the unease clearly on Jane’s face. Jane was always so open about her emotions. She could be overwhelming at times. “About?”
“Us.”
Maura sighed and looked at her plate. “Yes.”
Jane winced. The verbal blow more painful than any punch she had ever received. She sucked in an uneasy breath. “Why?”
Maura frowned. It was a logical question. If only her answer was logical. “I am not sure I’m ready to be in a serious relationship.”
Jane’s mind raced for something to say that would change her mind. “What . . . would make you ready?” she asked, ready to do anything to make her ready.
“I’m . . . not sure,” Maura whispered.
“What changed, Maura?” Jane asked, struggling to not sound like she was begging. “Give me something to works with here,” she pleaded anyway.
“Jane,” Maura said sadly but did not answer. There was nothing Jane could do, she considered sadly.
“It’s easier to communicate when people talk to each other, Maura,” Jane blurted tersely.
Maura winced and looked at her plate.
Jane exhaled feeling helpless. “What aren’t you telling me? You seemed happy last night, what happened to cha. . . ,” Jane said, then abruptly stopped, looking at Maura as comprehension dawned. Maura hates chaos and emotional turmoil and she got a really good look at it last night in all its glory.
“You’re afraid. You’re afraid I’ll hurt you,” Jane whispered.
“Jane, I know you would never do anything intentionally to hurt me,” Maura immediately responded.
“But you’re afraid . . . of being hurt,” she noted, seeing Maura wince. Of course, it was fear, Jane concluded, knowing that was what had driven Maura all her life. “Oh Sweetie, love is a wonderfully sloppy emotional mess. And there will be bumps and bruises along the way,” Jane said emphatically, taking her hand. “But loving someone and being loved makes it all worth it.”
“I’m not so sure, Jane,” Maura said quietly, withdrawing her hand.
***
WHACK!
The baseball rocketed towards the back of the batting cage, violently hitting the chain link fence before dropping and bouncing on the ground as the pitching machine launched another ball.
WHACK!
The baseball flew, slamming into the machine’s protective cage and popping up and hitting the fence behind her. She didn’t even flinch.
WHACK!
“Holy shit, Rizzoli! Who the hell pissed you off?!?” Jo said, seeing who was causing the notably loud commotion in the batting cage.
Jane was going to ignore her, not in the mood to talk with anyone.
“Mom! Language!” the brown haired teen complained.
Jane turned with surprise to find her boss, in a Yankee ball cap, next to a young woman in a UCONN ball cap, just as the machine launched another ball, nailing her in the side.
“Shit!” Jane cried in pain.
***
“You sure you’re OK?” Jo asked as they extracted Jane from the batting cage.
“Physically,” Jane said, holding her side with a wince.
Jo eyed her curiously as Jane sat on a bench.
“Who’s this,” Jane asked, looking at inquiring blue eyes that had just finished drifting appreciatively over her body. The girl smiled, pleased by the tall woman’s attention.
“Never seen her before in my life,” Jo said.
“Mom!” the young woman growled and pushed her arm.
Jane smiled, able to see Jo and Blair with kids. She wondered if Maura had ever thought about them. Her smile faded.
“I’m Beth Warner-Polniaczek,” she said with a winning smile, holding her hand out.
“Jane Rizzoli. UCONN?” Jane asked with interest, shaking the firm hand.
“For now. I’m transferring to Harvard next semester,” Beth said. “I’m a criminal science major.”
“Following in the family footsteps?” Jane said with a smile.
“Sort of. I’m going to be a prosecutor,” Beth said. “So . . . have you always lived in Boston?” she asked with grin.
“Honey? Why don’t you go find a cage?” Jo asked, looking at her pointedly, receiving a brief look of annoyance.
“Sure, ma. Very nice to meet you, detective,” Beth said with a sly smile, hoisting the bat bag over her shoulder. She glanced once more at the detective before going to a cage.
“How many kids do you have?” Jane asked curiously.
“Two. My other daughter is Tracy Polniaczek-Warner,” Jo said with proud smile. “She’s two years younger and a junior at Eastland. She's with her mom now, shopping,” Jo said, rolling her eyes.
“Polniaczek-Warner and Warner-Polniaczek?” Jane asked with mild amusement.
***
“May I help you?” the sales woman smiled.
“I’m enjoying just looking for the moment,” Dr. Isles said with a polite smile, glancing around the boutique. To her surprise, she spotted Blair.
“Well, let me know if you need any help,” the sales woman said. “I’m Janie,” she said.
Maura glanced at her with surprise. “Thank you,” she forced out with a smile, watching the saleswoman leave with relief.
When she started to go say hello to Blair, she stopped with surprise when a young woman rushed to Blair’s side and pulled her arm, herding her towards a display of sweaters.
“Mom, just look!” Tracy cried out in delight, pulling out a cashmere sweater. “This would go perfectly with my new dress!” She said, looking at her mom with a big smile.
Blair smiled. “It is very nice,” she allowed. “But how much?”
Tracy’s big smile faded. She cringed and looked at the price tag. “I can . . . manage. I’ve saved up from the bakery. I simply must have this!”
“Just as long as you know what the cost is,” Blair said sagely.
“Well, the cost of the materials and labor is much less than the price I will pay,” Tracy said with a smirk. “But the designer and manufacturers need to have some profit for such a lovely creation, don’t you think?”
“You do pay attention to me!” Blair said happily, giving her daughter a big hug.
“Mom, not in public,” she blurted with embarrassment. Blair just chuckled.
“Ms. Warner?”
Blair and her daughter turned to see a wonderfully dressed woman approach.
“My god, that’s a beautiful Nichole Miller,” Tracy said, walking up to Maura, looking over the dress appreciatively. “And Manolo Blahnik’s! Perfect.”
“Thank you,” Maura said with a small smile.
“Doctor Maura Isles, this is my daughter, Tracy Polniaczek-Warner,” Blair introduced her with a proud smile. Seeing Maura’s surprised look, she chuckled.
“The last name was her choice.”
“Oh. Nice to meet you, Tracy,” Maura said.
“Likewise, Dr. Isles. Mom? I’m going to get this, ok?” Tracy asked with excitement.
“If you really want to spend your hard-earned savings to get it…” Blair cautioned.
“I’m so there,” she blurted and dashed off.
Blair chuckled. “Don’t tell me you convinced Jane to go shopping?” she said, looking around the store.
An uncomfortable look crossed Maura’s face as her gaze dropped and she shook her head no.
“Something tells me you are here for some retail therapy,” Blair said gently.
“I do find it a pleasant distraction to be around beautiful clothing,” Maura admitted, glancing around the store.
“Let’s get a cup of coffee,” Blair suddenly suggested.
“O…okay,” Maura said, feeling compelled to keep company with this kindred spirit.
***
“I thought you meant a café,” Maura said as she drove up to Blair’s house.
“I happen to make excellent coffee,” Blair said with a grin as Maura parked.
“I didn’t mean to cut short your time with your daughter,” Maura said with concern.
“We had a nice, loooong morning shopping together. It’s hard to believe I was once as energetic as she was,” Blair said with a chuckle, getting out of the car with Maura. “Besides, Tracy and I will have a lot more time together. She’s going to transfer to a school in Boston and live with us here,” Blair said happily.
“Where was she before?” Maura asked as they went to the front door.
“Eastland.”
“In Peekskill?”
“Yes. And Beth, our oldest, will be transferring to Harvard, so we’ll see more of her too,” Blair said brightly.
“How many children do you have?” Maura asked as they entered the house.
“Two young ladies. They don’t like to be called children,” Blair smiled. “Come on into the kitchen and I’ll make us some coffee.”
***
“She’s got good form,” Jane said as they sat on a bench, watching Beth consistently and solidly hit.
“Always was a natural athlete. Tracy, not so much,” Jo chuckled and added “…unless you call shopping a sport.”
Jane smiled.
“So, what happened between you two that has you beating the crap out of the cage?” Jo asked.
Jane wanted to deny anything had happened, but looked at Jo sadly. “She’s pushing me away.”
“Why? She seemed very happy,” Jo said with surprise.
“She started thinking too much and got scared,” Jane grumbled. “All her life, she went out of her way not to have to deal with people or her emotions, because they only seemed to cause her pain. She is afraid of getting hurt.”
Jo frowned and shook her head. “I suppose our Jerry Springer drama last night didn’t help any,” Jo said with an apologetic wince.
Jane chuckled weakly. “I guess I should be glad she’s questioning it now and not after we were married for a few years.”
“You were thinking marriage?” Jo asked gently.
“I . . . yeah,” Jane said, scratching the back of her neck. “I was.”
“She loves you, Jane. Be patient,” Jo said sagely.
“I’m trying but I’m not a very patient person,” Jane said dejectedly with a sigh.
Jo snorted. “Nooo! Say it ain’t so!”
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be lending a sympathetic ear instead of picking on me?!?” Jane complained.
“What? And have people think we’re friends or something?” Jo said, getting up.
“Can’t have that,” Jane chuckled.
***
Seated at the large kitchen island, Maura quietly stirred her coffee as Blair joined her. “So, what did Jane do to you?” Blair asked innocently, sipping her coffee, carefully observing her guest.
“Nothing,” Maura responded with surprise.
“Really?” Blair pressed, eyeing her friend.
“Really. Jane has been . . . wonderful,” Maura responded immediately.
“If she’s so wonderful, why are you in need of retail therapy?”
“Blair,” Maura said, getting a little annoyed. “I’m the one who decided we should break up.”
“Because she did something to you,” Blair persisted.
“No. Why do you assume she had done something to me?” Maura said.
“Why else would you break up with a wonderful woman?” Blair said simply, causing Maura to look at her with a frown. That was a logical question.
Maura’s gaze dropped to her coffee. After a long moment, she sighed. “I’m afraid I am not strong enough.”
Blair looked at Maura sadly. “Jo and I really scared you, didn’t we,” Blair said gently, placing her hand over Maura’s. Maura sighed and nodded reluctantly.
“What if something happened to her? I would . . . die,” Maura blurted. As one who had never understood how someone could make such dramatic declarations, Maura learned how when she truly felt that way.
“And after pushing her away, do you really think you will feel any less devastated if something happened to her?” Blair asked softly.
Maura frowned.
“Honey! I’m HOME!” Jo blurted loudly. A slamming door followed.
“Don’t slam the door!” Blair called out with annoyance.
“That wasn’t me!” Jo protested as she entered the kitchen with her equipment bag over her shoulder. “Hey, Maura,” she said then kissed her wife on the cheek.
“Jo,” Maura greeted with a small smile.
“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t expect . . . well, hello,” Beth said, noticing a lovely woman sharing coffee with her mother. “I’m Beth,” she said with a winning smile, holding out her hand. Blair and Jo shared a look.
“Doctor Maura Isles,” Maura said politely, shaking her hand.
“A doctor, huh?” Beth said with great interest. “Beauty and brains,” she offered with a grin.
“Jo, take your daughter and hose her off, will you?” Blair said, shaking her head.
“What? I’m just being friendly to a beautiful lady!” Beth huffed.
“She’s a family friend, so quit it!” Jo said, smacking her in the back of the head.
“Hey! Not fair. I see a hot woman at the cages and you barely let me talk with her. Are all women in Boston off-limits?” she complained.
“Yes.” Her parents answered in stereo.
“This is why I am becoming a lawyer,” Beth proclaimed dramatically and marched out.
“Sorry about that,” Jo said, pouring herself a cup of coffee and joining them around the island. “She takes after her mother.”
“I would agree,” Blair said, looking at Jo pointedly.
“I beg your pardon, but which one of us had a date practically every night in high school?”
Blair frowned. “That doesn’t mean….”
“And which one of us had every school boy from Bates wrapped around her little finger? Not to mention most of the girls at Eastland…”
“It was just harmless flirting, Jo,” Blair said dismissively. “And the one person who I really wanted was immune to my charms,” she said with a pout.
“Then how do you explain me marrying you?” Jo asked.
“You finally evolved from the Neanderthal that you were,” Blair said, pinching her cheek.
“Maura?” Blair said worriedly, noticing her getting up from her chair. “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you,” she said apologetically.
“You don’t need to go,” Jo added with concern, pleased Maura and her wife were becoming friends. “I’ll give you two some space – I’ve got to shower and unpack some stuff.”
Maura smiled. “It’s not that, really. Your familial interactions have been . . . enlightening.”
“Oh. Well . . . good!” Blair said with a confused smile.
“But I need to go and talk with Jane,” Maura said with a worried look crossing her face.
“It’s easier to face things when you have someone in your corner with you,” Blair said vaguely.
Maura nodded.
“She was at the batting cages earlier. I think she might be home by now,” Jo offered.
“Oh,” Maura said, then tilted her head thoughtfully. “So the hot woman was…?” Maura asked curiously.
“Yeah,” Jo interjected flatly.
After her shower, Jane found herself scrubbing her stovetop. After that was done, she fetched the vacuum cleaner from the closet and started to vacuum the floor, which really didn’t need it and annoyed Jo Friday, who retreated to a safe place under her couch. After the floor was done, she opened up her refrigerator and sighed. She didn’t remember the last time she scrubbed the shelves and decided that was probably a good indication it was time to wash them.
Pulling out her last shelf, she placed it in the sink and sprayed it down. Hearing a knock on her door, she turned off the faucet with a sigh as Jo barked excitedly at the visitor. Wiping her hands with the dishtowel, she walked to the front door, really hoping it wasn’t her Ma, who had called several times. She was not in a mood to deal with her right now. With a quick look through the peephole, she sucked in a hopeful breath and quickly unlocked the door and abruptly pulled it open, startling Maura.
“Uh . . .We need to talk,” Maura said somberly.
Jane cringed uneasily, not exactly comforted by those words or the tone.
“Sure,” she said, stepping back and letting her in.
Jo kept barking. “Jo! Shoo, will yah?” Jane snapped waving her hands at the dog, who barked in protest before trotting off.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thank you,” Maura said.
Jane motioned for them to sit on the couch. Maura nodded and sat erect, on the far end, making Jane uncomfortable as she sat a cautious distance from her.
After taking a deep, focusing breath, Maura spoke. “I need to apologize for how I’ve behaved towards you and not letting you know what had me upset,” Maura said uneasily, glancing at Jane. “It’s just . . . I’m not good at sharing my feelings or concerns with someone. I know that I was unfair in not talking with you, before making a decision that affected both of us,” Maura said with a cringe as Jane silently listened.
“I had worried about being hurt and in the process, I hurt you,” Maura said guiltily, looking at Jane, who remained quiet, listening. “I am so sorry about that.”
Jane nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“I had done a lot of thinking today. About us and my failings as a partner to you,” she said, causing Jane to wince. Jane struggled not to interrupt but managed to remain quiet.
“I am afraid I am never going to be what you should have in a partner. I’m afraid you will see that and regret being with me. I’m also terrified of something happening to you and losing you. And while illogical, I acted out on those fears which in essence, was doing the very thing I was afraid of – losing you,” Maura said with a frown. “I’ve concluded that no matter how far away I push you, I can not protect myself from the devastation I would experience if you . . . .” Maura admitted uncomfortably, then stopped, unable to finish the sentence.
“I am tired, Jane. I’m tired of letting my fears paralyze me, keeping me from the things that I want. But I’m not sure I’m strong enough to get past them,” Maura said miserably.
Jane looked at her and asked a simple question. “What do you want, Maura?”
Maura looked into those dark brown eyes, finding what she had always found - understanding and love. “You. A home. A family. Everything . . . with you,” Maura whispered uneasily, looking at her expectantly.
The relief Jane felt almost made her dizzy as her heart soared.
“You want what I want. And you’re not the only one afraid, Maura,” Jane said softly. “I’m afraid you’ll see me as the big mistake,” she said, prompting Maura to frown. “I’m afraid you’ll realize that you could do so much better than me,” she said, causing that frown to deepen. “I’m afraid I’m going to drag you into the nightmares I’ve lived with and that I’m not quite free of. But the biggest fear I have?” Jane said, looking into Maura’s eyes. “Is that I will miss out on the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. You,” Jane said, noting Maura’s eyes welling up with tears.
“Oh Jane.”
“What do you say. . . ,” she said, taking Maura’s hand and gently squeezing. “ . . . we face those fears and jump into the scary unknown together?” Jane said earnestly. “Two heads are better than one. Many hands make light work. A stitch in time is a penny earned,” Jane offered sagely with a shrug, making Maura laugh as she wiped the tears from her cheek.
Jane smiled at the beautiful sound.
Maura leaned towards her and kissed her tenderly. “I do so love you.”
“Show me?” Jane said with a twinkle in her eye.
Maura smiled and stood, holding her hand out. Jane took it and was led to the bedroom.
Maura was in no rush as she undressed Jane, pausing for a caress here, an intimate kiss there. Jane also slowly peeled away Maura’s clothes, tracing her long fingers over newly exposed areas of skin, reveling in the softness and the effect of her touch that brought bumps to Maura’s sensitive skin and hardness to her nipples.
Finally, they stood without any barriers. Their bodies pressed into each other as their mouths merged, their tongues danced, and their hands roamed.
Jane led them to her bed, climbing on it with Maura, incredibly without breaking their kiss. Maura managed to roll Jane on her back and looked at her with a smile.
“You are sooooo bossy,” Jane said with a grin.
Maura dipped down to whisper in her ear. “Well, you did say show you.”
“So I . . . did,” Jane moaned when Maura’s tongue flicked at her earlobe.
Pressing her knee firmly between Jane’s legs caused an approving moan. Fingers caressed, stroked, and teased her skin, until finally focusing on Jane’s breasts. She squeezed the nipple as she slid down Jane’s body, kissing a warm wet trail along the way.
Jane squirmed as her arousal grew, pooling at her sex. A jolt shot through her body as a warm moist mouth attached to her breast. A skillful tongue circled and lapped at her nipple before teeth nipped and tugged at it.
“GOD,” Jane moaned, one hand grabbed her sheets as the other landed on Maura’s head; her sex grew wetter and wetter at the delicious attention to her breasts.
Maura’s oral attentions to her breasts were abandoned as she kissed her way down Jane’s chest, to her stomach, licking, sucking, and kissing her way down until she settled between Jane’s legs. Her fingers carefully pulling apart the skin around her hood, Maura blew against it.
“Uh,” Jane moaned, her head turning to the side as her hands strangled the sheets. “More,” she pleaded, rewarded with a tongue that lapped at her juices, dipping deep into her entrance to claim the fluid that continued to flow. “Oh…” Jane exhaled, her body throbbing as her arousal grew and grew, almost painfully.
Maura shifted her weight to one elbow as she placed her fingers at Jane’s entrance, teasing it, rubbing the lips without penetrating.
“Please,” Jane husked, wanting that penetration. Needing it.
Maura stopped all movement, causing Jane’s eyes to fly open in alarm. She looked down at the blond between her legs to see a lust-filled gaze as Maura ever so slowly pushed her fingers into Jane.
Jane swallowed hard as she watched her lover stroke her skillfully, rubbing that perfect spot that caused her to squirm. Her arousal steadily built, climbing to the peak that was so close. So, so close, Jane thought, as her body trembled and throbbed from the tension growing within, sweat beading on her skin. So close she thought, calling out something unintelligible, just before her body suddenly grew ridged then convulsed as her climax hit, releasing a loud moan and large wave of pleasure that washed over her, through her. Then Maura’s mouth was on her, licking and sucking, as her fingers continued to thrust within her, harder and harder. A second climax came crashing down, her body unable to do anything except tremble as she rode that wave.
Maura slowed her ministrations, continuing her intimate caresses as she placed a kiss on the side of Jane’s thigh. She kissed her way up, tenderly brushing her lips over tingling skin until she was face-to-face with an exhausted Jane. She leaned down and kissed her.
Jane reached up, sliding her hand behind Maura’s head as her other hand found purchase on her back, pulling her into the slow, deep kiss.
***
Blair yawned as she entered their bedroom, but quickly perked up when she found herself in Jo’s arms, being kissed.
Pulling back from the kiss, Blair smiled broadly, glancing around the room that was full of candles that provided a romantic glow that accompanied the soft music playing. “When did you do all this?” she asked delightedly.
“May I have this dance?” Jo asked, stepping back and holding out her hand, which made Blair smile.
“You may,” she said, slipping her hand into Jo’s as they took their familiar positions and let their feet and bodies move to the music.
“Did Tracy buy out the store?” Jo asked.
“No. She knows better than to max out her credit card,” Blair said. “But she will need to get school clothes when she transfers here.”
“Too bad she can’t just wear her Eastland uniform,” Jo said as Blair turned in her arms and wrapped Jo’s arms around her waist, which allowed Jo the perfect opportunity to nuzzle her neck as they swayed in time to the music.
“You could suggest that to her,” Blair said with amusement.
“And have her give me the silent treatment again? I’d rather have a root canal,” she said. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing? Having her transfer here and not graduate Eastland?” Jo asked uneasily.
“She’s the one who suggested it, Jo. And I love having her home, with us,” Blair said, as they rocked to the slow ballade.
“Me too. Even if she still hasn’t forgiven me,” Jo said softly.
“She’s forgiven you, Jo. She just had a really hard time and is scared of being scared again. We all are,” Blair said honestly. Jo frowned guiltily. Blair caressed Jo’s cheek and kissed her tenderly on the lips before resting her head on Jo’s shoulder and swaying to the music.
“Do you think Beth is ever going to settle down? I’m worried about her,” Blair asked with a slight frown, looking at Jo, who shrugged.
“If you can, I’m sure there’s hope,” Jo said with a smirk.
“I only flirted, Jo. I’m afraid Beth is a bit more . . . aggressive,” Blair said uncomfortably with a wince.
“I think she’s a lot more talk than you think, Princess,” Jo said thoughtfully.
“I hope so. Why buy the cow if the milk is free,” Blair said sagely.
“I’m sure she remembers your cow talk, Blair,” Jo said with amusement as the song stopped and a radio commercial played.
“I just don’t want her to get hurt,” Blair frowned going to their bed and sitting down.
“I know. Neither do I. But the one I think we need to worry about is Tracy,” Jo noted, sitting next to her. She took her hand and kissed it.
“Well, she did say that the consumer would still be compelled to buy the cow if the milk was really good and the cow cut off the supply to drive the demand up,” Blair acknowledged, then looked at Jo with a frown.
“Exactly.”
“I was hoping she was just trying to get a rise out of me,” she said with a sigh, as Jo pulled back her hair and kissed her neck.
“That sounds like a very good plan,” Jo said, kissing her cheek then guiding her chin towards her to kiss her on the lips.
“Blair, really. You don’t need to camp out here while I do paper work,” Jo said again as she opened up her office door.
“I’m not camping out. I have my own work to do, thank you very much,” she said, patting the laptop case hanging from her shoulder.
“Great, we can be in the same room ignoring each other,” Jo said as they entered her office.
“Dear Lord, Jo! How can you get anything done with this clutter all around?” Blair gasped at the filing boxes all over the room.
“Which is why I am here on a Sunday to reduce the clutter,” Jo said with irritation and sat at her desk.
“You haven’t even put any pictures up yet!” Blair complained, heading to the small couch, frowning as she removed two boxes to make room for her to sit.
Jo sighed and got up from her desk. She marched over to a corner of her office where several boxes were piled on top of each other. She removed two boxes from the pile and opened the lid to the third, pulling out a picture of her family, before the girls were high school age. Pausing a long moment, she stared at the picture; the smiles on their faces always reminded her of what was really important in life. Looking up, she saw Blair looking at her with a warm smile.
With a self-conscious smile, she placed the picture on her desk. “Satisfied?”
“It’s a start,” Blair allowed, powering up her laptop.
Jo pulled out a thick folder and opened it. After squinting at the blurry words, she sighed heavily before reaching into her desk drawer to pull out her glasses case. Donning the reading glasses, she sighed again and began to review the case.
“You finally got glasses!” Blair exclaimed.
Jo grimaced. “Yeah. I have to face the facts – my hair is getting greyer….”
“More silver,” Blair countered.
“. . . my skin is becoming more wrinkled.”
“Getting more laugh lines,” Blair supplied helpfully.
“And my eyes are getting weaker. I don’t have to be a detective to know - I’m old,” she said dejectedly, pulling the glasses off and staring at them.
“Put them back on,” Blair said.
“Why?”
“Just do it,” Blair countered firmly
“Why??”
“JO!” Blair blurted with exasperation.
“Fine,” she groaned and put the glasses back on.
Blair stared at her as she got up. “What?” Jo asked.
Silently, Blair approached Jo and swiveled her chair towards her.
“Blair? What the . . . ,” Jo said, finding herself being kissed, hard.
***
“How do I look?” Maura said nervously, patting down imaginary wrinkles as they approached the Rizzoli’s family home.
“Overdressed for a spaghetti night, Maura,” Jane said bluntly. “I told you spaghetti.”
“I don’t think there is a prohibition on wearing a nice dress when dining on spaghetti. It’s not like wearing white after . . . ,” Maura countered seriously.
“Maura. If you get spaghetti sauce on your dress, don’t blame me,” Jane said as they entered the house.
“I just wanted to look nice,” Maura said, looking down at her dress.
“You always look nice, Maur,” Jane said warmly, squeezing her hand.
“But I wanted to look especially nice tonight,” Maura said nervously.
Jane looked at her and smiled. “They love you already, Maur,” Jane said and leaned in.
“Janie! Maura!” Angela greeted them happily, causing Jane to jump back.
“Hey girls,” Frank said as he sat down on the couch next to Frankie, who waved absently at them as he intently watched the game.
“Angela, Frank, Frankie,” Maura said with a nervous smile.
“Remember they already love you, Maura,” Jane said softly in her ear, trying to quell her unease.
Angela looked at them curiously, noting Maura seemed a bit nervous. But Jane seemed to be helping her relax, she thought, noting Jane rubbing her back soothingly. Just like Frank would do, she considered fondly.
“Hey, Ma,” Jane said. “I hope you made a lot. I’m starving,” she said, making her mother beam.
“I’m an Italian mother, of course I made a lot! Help me with the salad,” Angela said, turning her attention back to the garlic bread preparation.
Jane rolled her eyes, hating to be the one picked on. Why couldn’t Frankie get stuck with the kitchen detail just for once, she frowned.
“Can I help?” Maura asked eagerly.
“The more the merrier,” Angela chuckled as the two women joined her in the kitchen. “You know, I’ve always liked you, Maura,” she joked, then looked at Jane pointedly. “SHE volunteers to help,” she said dramatically, motioning to Maura, who found Jane shrugging and looking at her with a grin.
Hearing Frank and Frankie suddenly shout at the TV, Maura jumped. “You get used to it,” Jane said, placing a hand on her forearm.
Maura eyed her skeptically.
“So how was the Benefit? Did you two have fun? I would have asked yesterday, but Janie wasn’t answering her phone,” Angela said, glaring at Jane with irritation.
“Ma, I was . . . exhausted,” Jane said, pulling the lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and onions from the refrigerator.
“Too exhausted to speak with your own mother?” Angela countered, noting how Maura winced slightly and placed her hand at Jane’s back as Jane placed the produce on the kitchen table.
“Actually, yes,” Jane said and looked at her mother, who frowned.
“So how was the Benefit, Maura?” Angela said, squeezing fresh garlic through the press.
“Eventful,” Maura offered, causing Angela to look at her in confusion.
“We met Lieutenant Polniaczek’s wife,” Jane tossed out, gauging her mother’s reaction as she handed Maura the onions and tomatoes and a knife.
“Oh? What’s she like?” Angela asked absently, mixing the garlic in the butter.
“A lovely woman,” Maura noted approvingly, making quick work of the onions with precise cuts.
“Dresses almost as nice as Maura does,” Jane said, placing her hand on Maura’s shoulder.
Her stubbornly tough daughter seemed to be more touchy feely these days, Angela noted as she started to butter the bread. Maura seemed to bring out the gentler side to Jane, which was a very good thing, she considered.
“As nice,” Maura countered with a smile.
“You wouldn’t say you dress nicer?” Jane challenged with a grin, tackling the carrots with a vegetable peeler.
“No. No, I wouldn’t,” Maura said thoughtfully.
“Well, I’d have to say I strongly disagree, Dr. Isles,” Jane said, prompting a pleased smile.
Angela’s buttering slowed as she looked between the two women. She blinked with surprise, when she noted Jane stealing a slice of tomato and getting her hand slapped in the middle of the crime. The look the two shared was one she hadn’t seen before.
“I’m surprised you would want to eat that, considering your apparent dislike of anything fresh,” Maura said.
Jane grinned. “Is that sarcasm, Maura?”
“No, an observation, Jane,” Maura responded confidently.
“I don’t know who is spreading those vicious, vicious rumors. I happen to like fresh produce,” Jane argued, holding up the romaine lettuce as if that was irrefutable proof.
“The contents of your refrigerator would indicate otherwise, Detective,” Maura countered with amusement.
Jane looked at Maura a moment, trying to think of an appropriate response.
Angela couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel as she saw the electricity pass between them. Jane probably didn’t even realize how Maura was looking at her, Angela thought with a frown, knowing that for being such a great detective, Jane was not normally perceptive about herself. Dense, one might even say, she considered with concern.
“Ma! Maura’s picking on me!” Jane suddenly said with a pout, startling the older woman from her thoughts and making Maura laugh.
“I’ve seen your refrigerator, Jane,” Angela said with a shrug, glancing between the two briefly before focusing on buttering her bread. “It’s not exactly overflowing with fresh vegetables, you know,” she added, glancing up to find the pleased look on Maura’s face as she eyed her daughter in amused challenge.
“Great, just what I need, the two of you to gang up on me,” Jane grumbled and finished tearing the lettuce leaves and placing them into the large salad bowl.
“Maura dear, would you mind taking the salad to the table and setting out the salad bowls from the china cabinet?” Angela asked.
“Not at all,” Maura said with a pleased smile, making Angela pause. Her kids were never happy to do chores, yet Maura seemed genuinely happy to help.
As Jane started to leave with Maura, Angela noted Jane’s hand at the small of Maura’s back. She probably didn’t even know she was doing that, Angela considered with a wince. “Jane? I need your help with the garlic bread,” she blurted awkwardly.
Jane paused with a confused look. Maura smiled at Jane and left the kitchen to complete her task.
“You need my help to do . . . what, exactly?” Jane said, eyeing the baking sheet full of buttered bread ready for the oven.
Angela frowned. “Janie, we need to talk,” she said, immediately putting Jane on the defensive.
“About what?” She said tersely.
“Just hear me out, will yah?” Angela said with annoyance.
“Fine,” Jane said with a heavy sigh.
“Now I’m not trying to butt into your personal life….” Angela started, earning a loud snort.
“Since WHEN?” Jane blurted with a laugh.
“Would you just listen to me for a minute!?!” Angela hissed. Jane rolled her eyes and nodded. “I think that maybe, just maybe, we’ve been looking in all the wrong places,” Angela said cautiously, glancing out at the dinner table where Maura was setting the salad bowls.
“Looking? Looking for what?”
“Looking for someone for you,” Angela said impatiently. “Get with the program, will yah? Sheesh, no wonder you're still single!” she blurted with frustration, picking up the sheet of garlic bread and going to the oven.
“Really, Ma?” Jane said with amazement. “I’ve told you, several times in fact, that I don’t need or WANT your help in setting me up! Have I mentioned that I’ve told you several times?!?” Jane said emphatically.
“Jane, if you’d just listen! Maybe you should consider someone who you are already comfortable with,” Angela said, gaining a confused look from her daughter. Angela leaned towards her and whispered. “Maura,” she said meaningfully, glancing towards the dinner table, where Maura was chatting with Frankie.
Jane’s ready protest immediately fell silent as she looked at her mother in surprise.
“Here me out, Janie. She’s a wonderful woman. Odd? Sure, but who isn’t? You are already best friends. Clearly she has a great tolerance for your crap…or she was dropped on her head as a child,” Angela offered with an amused snort. “But I can see you two care for each other. You two have something special already. Maybe, just maybe, it is something that will develop into something more. And for God’s sake, let’s not forget – she’s a DOCTOR!” Angela preached enthusiastically, getting more excited by the idea by the moment.
“You think . . . I should date . . . Maura?” Jane said incredulously.
Angela rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a prude! We’re in Massachusetts for God’s sake! You two can even get married!” she preached as Jane blinked. “Please, Jane. Just think about it with an open mind. I have a feeling about this. A good feeling,” Angela implored.
“All done with the salad bowls,” Maura announced upon her return to the kitchen. “Is something wrong?” she asked, seeing the odd look on Jane’s face.
Angela smiled. “NO! Not a thing,” she said.
Seeing a big smile now emerge on Jane’s face, Maura asked “What?”
“Well, my mother thinks we should…ow!” Jane said, grabbing the back of her arm, which her mother pinched, hard.
“We should get everyone seated at the dinner table, right Jane?” Angela said, glaring at her daughter. “Maura, honey, could you round up the men for me?” she asked, grabbing the back of Jane’s arm to ensure she didn’t escape.
“Okay,” Maura said, looking at Jane, who seemed rather amused by something. Something, which she would find the details about later, Maura considered confidently, casting one last curious gaze between mother and daughter before leaving them.
“What are you trying to do?!? Mess things up before you even go on a date!?!” Angela blurted with annoyance, slapping Jane’s arm.
“Ow!” Jane said with a laugh, holding her arm.
“I’m serious, Jane. I want you to seriously think about Maura, and not make jokes about the idea,” Angela said with annoyance as she pulled the toasted garlic bread from the oven.
“Ma! It’s not a bad idea,” Jane allowed with a small smile, getting her mother to look at her hopefully. “It’s just that…,” Jane offered with an apologetic wince.
“You can get over the same sex thing, Jane. Why Annie Gladkowiski’s daughter Brenda was as straight as they came, but is now happily married to LeAnn Yetterman. If she can…,” Angela reported.
“Ma! It’s just that I’ve already…,” Jane countered.
“You’re already seeing someone! Jane!” Angela blurted with annoyance, slapping her arm, twice.
“Hey!” Jane said, holding her abused arm.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!?” Angela hissed.
“We were going to…,” Jane said defensively.
“When?!? After you let me go on and on, and get my hopes up?” Angela blurted with irritation, shaking her head dejectedly.
“MA! Listen to me! I am already with Maura,” Jane said firmly. “As in with with,” she offered as clarification. “We were going to tell you tonight, after dinner.”
Angela looked at her daughter a long moment, before sighing heavily. She quietly left to serve the spaghetti to her family.
Jane sat next to Maura and nervously watched as her mother finished serving the spaghetti and sat down next to her father.
Maura looked at Jane with concern. “I told her,” she said simply, causing a look of alarm from Maura. Jane shrugged.
“So, Frankie,” Angela said, grabbing a piece of garlic bread from the basket. “When are you going to find someone to settle down with? You’re not getting any younger, you know.”